Seeing Clearly: What Help for Whom?
Posted by Megan Elizabeth Morris on Wed, Apr 22, 2009
(This is a guest post by Megan Elizabeth Morris.)
I needed new glasses, so I went downtown.
The walk between my car and the eye clinic was about a block. I crossed the street and turned down Congress, dropped off my glasses and, blind as a bat, set off down the street to find some food. A girl riding a bike approached from behind me and told me my dress was pretty. I thanked her even though I wasn't wearing a dress. (Well, I was wearing a skirt -- maybe it all looked like a dress, who knows?)
She stopped her bike, and turned around, and said, Hey, can I ask you a question?
I squinted and moved closer so that I could better understand her. It's hard to read faces when you can't
see them. I never realized how important my eyesight was to my ability to understand and communicate with another person -- how important it is to be able to see their faces.
She told me it was her first time being homeless. She told me she was two months pregnant and had eight cents to her name. She said she was trying to find money for food. I told her I didn't have any cash on me -- but I had my card for lunch.
She said something about wanting to go to the grocery store.
I asked her if she wanted to come and eat lunch with me?
She didn't seem to like that. The girl's face fell hard and flat and she paused, like she was trying to think of a better idea. And she said, Go on then. And waved me away.
And I went, feeling... queasy.
Why couldn't she just come have lunch? I never quite figured out if she actually wanted food, or if she was trying to angle something else. The difficulty of clarifying the help people need is disturbing and confusing for me, and there are infinite variations. It's got to be disturbing and confusing to
many people. Many people harden themselves to this kind of interaction, say that homeless people are all addicts and con artists (which even I know isn't true). Many people give out whatever help they have regardless of the person asking because they
just can't tell. Even the "buy them food" maxim is probably flawed, without understanding the economics of homelessness. In social work there are undoubtedly all kinds of ways to work these things out, but even then, how do we know? It's a problem that certainly requires a great deal of humility and an open mind and the ability to be graciously proven wrong. I read
The Survival Guide to Homelessness, a long time ago, and it was enlightening -- but it only took me so far. I still couldn't figure out
a lot of things.
My best policy, so far, is to keep trying.
Megan Elizabeth Morris (email)
Ms. Morris writes at Personal Revelations of the Magnificent Megan M. Megan Elizabeth Morris, or The Magnificent Megan M., [proper noun]: Superhuman font of knowledge, skill, determination & resourcefulness. Exudes enzymes that cause others to surpass their potential. Master thinker; writes, designs, manages, ideastorms, markets, inspires, connects, grows, teaches, makes things happen, changes the world, and throws a mean right hook. (Okay. Not the last one. Well! Not literally.)