The Social NetWorker

Assuming Social Connection

(This is a guest post by Megan Elizabeth Morris.)

There are two things on my mind this week, and both of them have to do with connection.

A little more than a year ago, when I first attended Burning Flipside, I had the opportunity to participate in a sweat lodge. This year, I was determined to take advantage of that opportunity again (and as often as possible), because the experience had been so meaningful to me. If you're interested in reading about sweat lodge ceremonies, Wikipedia has some basic information. It seems that all sweats are different, but that description is fairly similar to my experience.

One thing I noticed about the sweat lodge that made an enormous impact on me was the connection I experienced with the other people in the lodge. Each person participated for their own reasons, and many openly expressed joy, grief, pain, fear, and deep longings for understanding, closure, healing, happiness. It was very representative of self-work, especially for me, and I was surprised at how well it aligned with my own mode of personal development. I would never have expected to be connected to many of those people, going in, but I was undeniably connected to them going out. We were all following our own individual paths, alone, together.

This feeling of connection -- not just with the people in the sweat lodge but with the whole world around me (birds, bees, trees, bugs) was one of the reasons I found myself meandering back to that camp every morning, bright and early, before most people were awake. There was something real about that feeling that we forget to experience in our normal, day-to-day lives. There was something poignant there that I couldn't ignore. And so this year, I participated in three sweat lodges in three days -- and another one this past weekend.

My second item is from a book called The Art of Possibility, by Benjamin and Rosamund Zander. (This is an amazing book, if you have the chance to pick it up.) Chapter Three is called "Giving an A."

"Giving an A" means a lot of things, but one thing spoke very plainly to me: "Giving an A" means assuming and expecting the best intentions from the people around you. For me, it means anticipating a positive connection with other people outside of the sweat lodge, even before I go inside. Too often we assume and expect disconnection, misunderstanding, or social differences too great to surmount. Why? We are all unique individuals, but that doesn't mean we can't connect with one another, learn from one another, and live positively together. If I had been giving the world an A all along, perhaps I wouldn't have been shocked by the connection I experienced in the sweat lodge. Perhaps I already would have been convinced of the fundamental goodness and light in people, no matter what they show on the outside.

Megan Elizabeth Morris (email)
Ms. Morris writes at Personal Revelations of the Magnificent Megan M. Megan Elizabeth Morris, or The Magnificent Megan M., [proper noun]: Superhuman font of knowledge, skill, determination & resourcefulness. Exudes enzymes that cause others to surpass their potential. Master thinker; writes, designs, manages, ideastorms, markets, inspires, connects, grows, teaches, makes things happen, changes the world, and throws a mean right hook. (Okay. Not the last one. Well! Not literally.)